When we speak of abuse against adults, the topic is complex. What makes one vulnerable?      

According to Brene Brown, “To feel is to be vulnerable, believing that vulnerability is weakness is believing that feeling is weakness.      And like it or not, we are emotional beings: What most of us fail to understand, and what took me a decade of research to learn, is that vulnerability is the cradle of the emotions and experiences that we crave. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, and joy.” 

We are created in God’s image, and He created us to feel deeply, to experience emotions, and to crave loving and nurturing relationships. 

Unfortunately, often at the most vulnerable points in our lives, we may be abused and harmed by others. It does not mean we are weak, rather that someone abused their position of power to cause harm. The harm committed by others can injure us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.      

When we began to expand Plan to Protect® to include adults, we initially thought of the vulnerability of the elderly and those with special needs.   We then saw the need to protect those who are newcomers to Canada, the influx of refugees to our country. More recently we have heard of the stories of fallen leaders that we once looked up to. Their misconduct was directed primarily to women whom they harmed spiritually, physically and emotionally. Their abuses of power deeply harmed the church. The list of fallen leaders is long and unfortunately, new names are added to the list annually. 

How do we combat and respond to abuse against adults?      

We begin (as always) by gaining insight and knowledge and awareness of the abuse of power, influence, authority and control. When that power is used to harm an individual and injure another, it is considered abuse. 

Victims often stay silent about their abuse. They may fear they will not be believed, or fear further abuse from the offender. Too often we hear that the blame for the abuse is placed on the victim rather than the offender.

Statements like these fall under the term victim-blaming:

• “She was flirting with him!”
• “He is known to be a liar.”
• “What was she thinking would happen if she dressed that way?”
• “He has chosen an alternative lifestyle and brought it on himself!”

We want to strongly caution you against approaching any reports or concerns of abuse from that perspective. Instead, we encourage you to appoint an individual to be responsible for receiving reports that will advocate for transparency and truth and also to be an advocate for the victim. 

When did policies become a thing to be broken?  

When were policies ever communicated that they were only guiding principles, or for that matter, suggestions to be broken?  

 Why do we laugh at the phrase, "It is better to say you are sorry than to ask permission?

 According to Terry Carter, Carter's Professional Association, "Board members should be aware that they could be exposed to personal liability if they permit their organization to work with children or other vulnerable persons where the board has failed to implement an appropriate abuse prevention policy that has been customized to reflect the specifics of their organization. Failure to follow the protocol set out in the abuse prevention policy could also lead to liability, so it's important that an organization that has the foresight to implement a policy also makes sure the policy is strictly followed."   

I am a bit stymied by a change I have observed over the last decade that challenges the rights of Board members, leaders, and employers to hold individuals accountable for their actions when there is a contract, Code of Conduct, and policies in place. I have heard stories from many leaders who say they are experiencing increased anxiety, spending an inordinate amount of their time reminding personnel of policies and procedures that have been willfully broken. 

A “ Speak Up ” culture improves child safety and provides an excellent opportunity to create a safe and welcoming environment. It encourages staff and volunteers to raise concerns about illegal practices or policy violations without fear of getting in trouble...

How a "Speak Up" Culture Improves Child Safety
Written by KidCheck; Posted with Permission

Organizations dedicated to children and youth have an excellent opportunity to create a  safe and welcoming  environment by fostering transparency and encouraging open dialogue between leadership, staff, volunteers, and families.

Encouraging...

We can do better!  We must do better!

I woke in the middle of the night!  My heart was heavy … I could not sleep!  So, I put the tea kettle on and I decided to catch up on my reading.

• I reread a draft of an article on Lessons Learned from Fallen Leaders.
• I read an email that had just come in – An Open Letter to Victims of Clergy Abuse! 
• I turned my attention to social media, where I read a flurry of social media posts criticizing leaders for their response to allegations of abuse. 
• I read of a series of incidences of abuse within the cheer industry.
• I read the results of the investigation into allegations against Ravi Zacharias.

As a person of faith, I find comfort in reading the Psalms and Proverbs – but even there I read of oppression, plagues, abuse, the burden of suffering due to poor choices, and the enemy pursuing his victim and overcoming him.  The folly of one’s ways. 

When I read, I am challenged … provoked to be better … to do more … to feel deeply about the hurts and pains of this world. 

Are you challenged when you read these accounts?  Or do you just shake your head and criticize the offenders. 

Is there anything that incites you and fuels your passion to do more, to be better yourself?

As more and more organizations and their leaders in our society come under scrutiny for misdeeds, bad decisions, criminal acts, they are finding that the act of apology is a critical piece in moving through a crisis and regaining the reputation they once had.

Reputation management is what organizations must do if they are to continue their existence. Public trust and public will can build or destroy those reputations. It does not matter if you are a celebrity or a small non-profit, your survival depends greatly on the Court of Public Opinion. Famed financier Warren Buffet once said that it can take twenty or more years to build a solid reputation. But it only takes twenty minutes to destroy it!

Apologies to the public for any transgression are, therefore, critical. It might be for statements made by employees or leaders, or it might be for actions or decisions made by corporate entities. Reading or watching the news these days will identify at least three per week from around the world.