In the last few weeks, I have heard many friends share their concerns about their parents with me. Over the holidays, they witnessed subtle shifts in memory, confidence, or decision-making, which often signal increasing vulnerability in older adults. Family members mentioned that parents or grandparents were repeating themselves, forgetting bills, or hesitating with daily routines. These small signs raise an important question:

How can support be provided as capacity changes, without removing independence or dignity?

Safeguarding is most effective when it is proactive and collaborative. Support should be introduced thoughtfully, in ways that respect autonomy and adapt as needs change.

Margaret's story demonstrates how her children, Andrew and Lisa, is supporting her during this life change. 

Margaret’s Story: Recognizing and Responding to Change

Most changes in capacity are gradual and inconsistent. Older adults may manage well in many areas, while quietly starting to struggle with specific tasks such as paperwork, technology, or finances. It is rarely a single event that signals the need for intervention. More often, it’s the accumulation of small changes over time. Margaret’s story illustrates this.

At 79, Margaret lives independently in her Toronto apartment, proud of maintaining her routines and close-knit social circles. Her daughter, Lisa, lives nearby and has always been hands-on. She stops by regularly for tea, groceries, and a chat about the week’s news. Lisa has a gentle way of noticing small things, like an unpaid bill on the counter, a new medication in the cupboard, or Margaret’s hesitation with an unfamiliar phone call.

Andrew, Margaret’s son, brings a different kind of support. He balances a busy job and teenage kids, but he never misses his regular phone check-ins with Margaret. He is the go-to for anything involving technology, helping her set up the tablet for virtual church meetings, explaining how to screen scam calls, or gently teasing her when she calls about a mysterious TV remote problem. Their conversations often end in laughter, but Andrew keeps a mental note of any changes in Margaret’s confidence or routines.

During the holidays, the siblings start to notice patterns. Margaret repeats herself at dinner, and a story about her garden resurfaces more than once. Lisa finds a small pile of unopened mail, including late payment notices. Margaret asks Andrew for her bank card PIN more than once, something she’s never needed help with before. While she continues to handle most aspects of daily life, these subtle signals suggest her needs may be shifting.

Practical Safeguards: Support Without Taking Over

Lisa and Andrew quickly realize that waiting for a crisis is not the answer. Instead, they choose a proactive, team approach. They openly discuss what each has noticed and brainstorm ways to support their mother while preserving her independence. Their goal is not to take over but to quietly add just enough support so that Margaret can remain confident in her daily life.

Lisa begins visiting more often, weaving extra time into her midweek stops. Sitting together at the kitchen table, she helps Margaret open mail and review bills. These check-ins become part of their rhythm. It is a gentle way to keep important paperwork from slipping through the cracks while also giving Margaret the final say on the help she wants.

At the same time, Andrew addresses the technology side. He sets up payment reminders that go to both him and Margaret, reducing the chance of missed bills. With his son Noah, he also spends time with Margaret talking about scam tactics, using real examples and family anecdotes to keep the conversation engaging and reassuring rather than intimidating. They approach these lessons with humour, turning a potentially stressful topic into a chance for connection.

Throughout this process, Margaret remains central to every adjustment. Lisa and Andrew are careful to check in and ask for her input—what feels helpful, what feels unnecessary, and what she’d prefer to handle on her own. Some weeks, Margaret needs little more than a second set of eyes. Other times, she is happy to accept extra support. The family stays flexible, adapting to Margaret’s changing needs with ongoing respect and open communication.

Safeguarding is a Process, not a Verdict

This collaborative approach is strengthened by the broader community. Local banks, care providers, legal clinics, pharmacies, social service agencies, libraries, and faith groups all play vital roles. These organizations support families by training staff to recognize subtle changes, sharing educational resources, and actively involving older adults in decisions about their care, safety, and finances.

For example, Margaret’s church now offers Plan to Protect® workshops on elder abuse awareness and prevention, online safety and financial management. Public libraries frequently host talks on scam prevention and digital literacy for seniors. Pharmacies can alert families to changes in medication routines. Legal clinics provide information on power of attorney and advance care planning. Social service agencies and community centers often offer caregiver support programs and referrals to specialized elder-care services.

Staying flexible, communicating openly, and seeking support from community partners allows older adults to remain safe, respected, and engaged, no matter how capacity changes over time. No one needs to navigate these transitions alone.

Resources

Government of Canada: Elder Abuse Prevention https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/aging-seniors/elder-abuse.html

Alzheimer Society of Canada: Elder Abuse Information https://alzheimer.ca/en/help-support/im-caring-person-living-dementia/ensuring-safety-security/elder-abuse

Canadian Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse (CNPEA) https://cnpea.ca/en/

Elder Abuse Prevention Ontario (EAPO) https://eapon.ca/

Canadian Centre for Elder Law (CCEL) https://cleoconnect.ca/organization/canadian-centre-for-elder-law-ccel/

Ontario Caregiver Organization: Resources for Families https://ontariocaregiver.ca/resources/

Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre: Senior Scams https://www.antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca/scams-fraudes/seniors-aines-eng.htm

National Institute on Ageing (Toronto Metropolitan University) https://www.nia-ryerson.ca/