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We Too by Mary DeMuth
Book Recommendations: We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis August 13, 2019Over the course of the next few weeks I am going to be highlighting some great books targeting different segments of our society where abuse is present, and unfortunately too rampant.
According to Mary DeMuth, “Predators permeate every strata of society. My first abusers were Boy Scouts. This man? A doctor. They infiltrate trustworthy structures like organizations, sports, and, yes, even the church.”
If it is true that the sexual abuse crisis has permeated every corner of our world, including the church, we need a strategy to combat each strata.
How we respond to both its menacing proliferation and the shattered hearts of survivors is vital. God beckons us to be good Samaritans to those facing trauma and sexual brokenness in the aftermath of abuse, to provide safe places to heal in community.
In the pages of her newest book, We Too, author and advocate Mary DeMuth encourages the church she loves to rise up and face the very real evil of sexual abuse and harassment--with candor and empathy. Based on current research and survivors' stories, along with a fierce fidelity to Scripture, DeMuth paints a realistic picture of the church's historical and present response to sexual violence, and she provides a framework of revival and surprising hope for the future.
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When I was a young boy, I loved September. And it wasn’t because the leaves were changing colour or because of the crisp smells in the air. It was because the first Monday of October was near, and the first Monday of October was the opening of bird hunting season in Nova Scotia.
On that day, I knew my dad and I would take off from school...
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One of the things I love most about being a leader in the youth group of my local church and at a youth center is relationship-building. I love meeting teens, listening to their stories and testimonies, discovering their personalities, understanding their families and friends, learning about their hobbies and dreams.
Often, our conversations are... -
I was recently interviewed by Faith Today magazine and they asked, “how many organizations and churches have a plan to protect?”
My hope is that every organization and church that serves the vulnerable sector, would have some sort of a plan to protect but not all plans are the same, nor do they all adhere to the same standard.
As we review and customize hundreds of policies and procedure manuals a year, we see such a wide variety of policies including:
- Policies which range from one page to 500 pages;
- Policies which addressing only sexual abuse, to policies that cover all types of abuse and neglect; and
- Policies which are designed only to protect children, to policies that protect all vulnerable persons.
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We are often asked if schools follow the same standard of protection that Plan to Protect® recommends. Often the standards schools follow are the objections that Board members and leaders use to refute the best practices that are laid out in policies and procedures. How safe are our schools?
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Who do you reach out to when you need care and support?
Last week I was interviewed by a young journalist from Huffington Post and asked why victims of child abuse reached out to clergy to disclose their abuse. The interviewer was writing in response to recent disclosures of abuse: #MeTOO and #ChurchTOO.
As I responded to the questions, I thought of many individual cases of abuse where each individual disclosed their abuse to someone they trusted. Some of the names have been changed to protect the victims.
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A Toronto not-for-profit that specializes in providing inclusive sports and recreation programs has strengthened relationships between staff and clients by increasing its abuse prevention.
Variety Village runs inclusive fitness, sports and recreation programs for people of all ages. People of all ages use Variety Village. Programs range from activities for parents and infants to fitness classes for seniors. Elite athletes train there. Children return each year for summer camps and day camps.
This familiarity creates a family atmosphere, so the organization has to be diligent to avoid anything that could lead to allegations of abuse. Today, staff, volunteers and campers congratulate each other with high fives and fist bumps. All participants must check in and check out for camp programs, regardless of how long staff or volunteers may have known the campers. -
Rapid changes in youth culture and communication can make it hard for adults to know how to teach youth how to build and create healthy relationships. That's one reason why Southwestern Ontario YFC/YU prioritizes consistent training about abuse prevention...
This hasn't hurt staff and volunteers' ability to build good relationships with students, said Deller. Students may wonder sometimes why a staff or volunteer can't give them a ride alone, butthey understand when staff and volunteers explain the safety reasons for it. These are the same reasons why staff and volunteers give students side hugs or fist pumps instead of letting them sit on their laps or giving them hugs.
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An Ottawa-area church plans on spending part of 2018 teaching their community how to recognize and prevent elder abuse.
Cedarview Alliance Church in Nepean has prepared workshops about the topic, with funding from the federal government's New Horizons for Seniors Program. The grant from Employment and Social Development Canada helps organizations deliver programs that benefit seniors, including public education about elder abuse.
"I think some people may be at the hands of abuse and not realize it," said Mills. Seniors need to feel confident to report suspected abuse. Community members need to know warning signs so they know when they need to contact someone if they suspect abuse. People are often more educated about recognizing and responding to child abuse than they are to elder abuse, said Mills.
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Dec4Mon
#meTOO and #churchTOO
#ChurchToo tweets are trending, because sexual abuse occurs in religious settings December 4, 2017
What should our response be to #MeTOO and #ChurchTOO?My initial reaction to #MeTOO, was to cheer these brave people on for finding their voice and bringing their secrets out in the open. My sentiments were shared by many, for comment after comment encouraged the brave souls to speak up. I did comment, and unfortunately I did receive...
