Four years ago, the Executive Director of a large community service agency asked me for our recommendations on the issue of transgender and gender dysphoria. This service organization had recently had boys asking to register for their all-girls programs.  At the time, I did not have a well-formulated or well-researched response. I suggested they consult with a lawyer …  a safe answer as I didn’t have the answers to give. 

At the same time, a four-year-old preschooler, Charlie Lowthian-Rickert, from Eastern Ontario, went to pre-school dressed as a girl, wearing nail polish and pink and purple clothes. He told teachers, “I’m a girl.” 

It wasn’t well-accepted. “They ostracized her,” Charlie’s mom said of school administrators.

“They made her eat lunch alone. Even in line-ups in a hallway, she had to line up on the other side.”

And then there was the bullying by other kids. “They hurt me physically and verbally,” says Charlie, now 9. “They’d give me noogies, they’d punch me; they’d bite me. They called me names. They started calling me ‘girlish boy.”‘

Did the school administrators handle this correctly five years ago?

Any educator would recognize that children that age often try on different roles, and some parents, teachers, and religious leaders try to talk the child out of it.

Last summer, we received four phone calls from clients asking us how to handle a similar sensitive issue. In each scenario, there were children (as young as six) that were asking to use the bathroom of the opposite gender – indicating that is where they were more comfortable, due to their gender identity.  One of the clients, representing an overnight Christian residential camp, had a fourteen-year-old camper who was in transition from being a girl to a boy.  The camper asked to sleep in the boy’s cabin.

In 2016, this is not just a passing thing. For many children and adults, this is who they wish to be, and believe it is who they are. 

As schools, camps, churches, and community centers, what should our response be?  Are we prepared for situations like this?

At Plan to Protect® our vision and mission is to create safe environments for the vulnerable sector.  Safety for all, not just the majority, or the ones we feel comfortable with.

Whether we agree or disagree, the government calls on us to ensure that we do not discriminate against or harass an individual. More recently, ‘gender identity’ has been added to the list of human rights.

From a protection perspective, my question is, how do we create safe environments for everyone, including Charlie? 

Mandating that Charlie use the washroom of the gender of her birth is not safe for Charlie.  Is Charlie a danger to girls ... a danger to boys?  When you look into Charlie’s eyes and meet Charlie, you would be hard-pressed to believe that Charlie is a danger. 

For our many clients that represent faith communities, we are often reminded that all individuals are made in the image of God!  We want our churches to be a place of welcome and grace!

Over the course of the past year, we have attended seminars, read books, consulted with lawyers, politicians and child development and child protection experts on this issue.  What I am convinced of is that all children need protection, including this four-year-old.  Children need to be valued and loved! Children need to be welcomed! All children need to feel safe.

Beyond extending a welcome, we need to move outside of our comfort zones. Are we ready to welcome Charlie to attend our camps, Sunday Schools, and programs?

From our learnings, we can provide you with suggestions for your consideration  on how to create safe environments if a transgender child wishes to attend one of your programs:

• Determine what accommodations you can make within the boundaries of your purposes, Statement of Faith and Beliefs, staffing, and facilities.
• Provide universal / barrier-free washrooms and change rooms.  (Consider renaming these washrooms instead of calling them Handicap Washrooms). 
• Deal with individuals on a case-by-case basis, as each story is unique, as is each individual.
• Adhere to a zero-tolerance policy for bullying and harassment.
• Communicate options and solutions to parents and children alike so that everyone feels safe.
• Meet the boys and girls like Charlie, listen to their stories and respect their request to use the name and pronoun of their choice. 
• Educate your staff and volunteers on a kind and loving response.
• Establish policies on gender identity and gender expression.
• Keep personal information confidential in locked, secure cabinets.
• Respect people’s needs for privacy.
• Continue to provide elevated supervision for areas of our buildings where the risk of abuse is high. With any organization that services the vulnerable sector, there will be individuals who take opportunities like this to have access to them.
• When a transgender child seeks guidance, refer them to an educated and licensed therapist. 

In closing, let’s Plan to Protect®!

I am deeply concerned about Charlie’s safety! I am deeply concerned about every child’s safety!  I am deeply concerned about how our staff and volunteers will interact with children, so that they will sense our love and welcome. 

In closing, four years ago, I was not educated on this issue.  Neither were Charlie’s parents.  Without knowledge and education, we can be gripped with fear as society changes. Are your program personnel, Administrators, Teachers, and leadership ready to manage this issue without harassment, discrimination, judgment and condemnation?  Will they bully Charlie?  Will you create an environment of welcome and grace? 

For more training on the topic of Human Rights and Gender Identity/Expression, please reach out to info@plantoprotect.com